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Insecurity

Do you feel insecure?
Well, if you do, you're not the only one!

Would it surprise you to know that most people feel insecure in one way or another? Many of us don't know it, some of us do. But, you know, God is there for us, and he's on our side.

Do people hide insecurity?

People hide their insecurity in many, many ways. The mind is full of self-defence mechanisms - it can be very creative indeed. Insecurity can turn us into someone we really are not.

For instance, someone who is life-and-soul of the party may well be that extrovert in order to keep an inner hurt from being discovered. It's a kind of camouflage, and it works like this: "If people don't see the real me, they cannot hurt the real me. If they upset the outer me, that's OK. But they won't because I'm the life and soul of the party."

Insecurity as a child?

There may be an "child" inside our emotional makeup; where part of our personality was trapped in childhood by a traumatic event - something that caused great emotional upset. It could be from a general lack of love in the formative years, which caused a stunting of the normal emotional development of a whole human being as God intended. Or it could be the trauma of an accident, or a violence, in which someone they loved and depended on was badly injured, or left the family, or died. Or it could have been a trauma to the child in the form of physical, emotional, mental or sexual abuse. These things can do terrible things to a young mind. Fortunately the mind of a child is resilient, and creates defence mechanisms to handle the insecurity caused. However, in many cases, it is as ineffective as putting a sticking plaster on a broken leg, so it never heals properly, and the person grows up with an imbalance in their personality.

Insecurity in other people?... or in you?

You probably recognise these things in people around you. But you may also be aware of these things in yourself. Are you insecure? How does your insecurity show itself?

But, what can we do about it? Some things look so impossible that we just learn to live with them. Live with our awkwardness, our difficulty with other people, or our bad reaction in certain situations.

Insecurity - the root of other problems

It may well be that insecurity itself is the root of it. But we're afraid to look, afraid to face up to what lies behind it. We know of the "presenting problem" on the surface; but what is the root problem, what's at the bottom of it all? Maybe we don't know; maybe we do, but it's too frightening to look at it, or to talk about it with someone else. After all, we wouldn't want anyone else to know about where we hurt, do we?

Let me share something with you: God knows all about it. He always did. He knows, he understands, he feels your inner pain. And he wants to do something about it because He loves us.

We have to make the first move

God wants you to bring all your insecurity to him, and in your heart to give him all your pain, perhaps even from as far back as your childhood. You need to do this in prayer.

How should I pray? How do I do it?

Praying is important; but if you've never prayed before, how do you do it?

Well, just find somewhere where you can be by yourself and peaceful for a little while.

I'm going to tell you something now which is very important. Jesus loves you. This is not the boyfriend-girlfriend love - it's much more than that. His love is more than the greatest love you have ever felt so far, from anybody else, or for anybody else. His love is forever, it doesn't go away because he doesn't like you any more. The Bible tells us that God is Love. And Jesus was the reaching out of God's love to his people, to all of humanity that ever lived and ever will live on this earth.

So, close your eyes, and reach out in your mind to Jesus Christ, the son of the living God. Know that he loves you with the fullest love of the living God. He cannot help loving every one of us, because God Is Love. We have the ability to love each other because he loved us first. He put his love within us.

Perhaps you can visualise, in your mind's eye, Jesus standing there in front of you, his eyes full of love.

Tel Jesus how you feel

Talk to him in your thoughts, or out loud, it doesn't matter which. Tell him how you feel. Tell him all about it. I promise you, he is listening. Talk to him about your hurts, your fears, your insecurity, you shattered dreams, your successes, your joys. Whatever comes to you. Ask him to show you what to talk about.

This is praying.

The more you pray, the more you get to know God.

He would say:

"Trust in me.

"I am unfathomable, faithful from the first to the last. My love for you is so wide, so deep, so all-encompassing that you cannot imagine. I reach out to you with all my heart. I love you, my child.

"Whatever you do, however bad you feel, even if you shun me and turn your back on me, I will always love you. Even if you have done the most dreadful things, I still love you. I am the way, the truth and the life. I am the love that you seek. The love to heal your wounds, to bind up your inner hurts.

"Be encouraged - you are not alone. I am always with you. I knew you before you were born, when you were formed in your mother's womb. I know every step of your life, every minute, every second.

"Turn to me and I will comfort you. You cannot hide from me like you hide from other people. I see into your heart, and I understand. I know about your insecurity. Do not worry that I know this; be reassured, because I love you and want the best for you. I am here.

"I will not harm you - I came to set you free, free in your heart, free in your spirit. I yearn to bring you into my Kingdom, into my peace. Turn to me, let me in, and I will begin to heal you. There is no outer shell that you can wear that I cannot love through. Be at peace. Do not be afraid. I love you. I AM."


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"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
- from the Bible, book of John, chapter 3, verse 16.